A few weeks ago I covered etiquette verbiage for wedding invitations, but what about the outside of the envelope? Today I’m breaking down wedding invitation envelope etiquette for and how an envelope should be addressed.

I’m a strong believer that wedding invitations should be addressed by hand. An invitation is often the first impression of your wedding. It sets the tone for your wedding day by introducing the theme, colors and style. The manner in which an envelope is addressed will signify how formal or informal your celebration is. Wedding invitations should be mailed six to eight weeks prior to the wedding day. For destination weddings, you can lean more towards eight to ten weeks. I strongly suggest you do not send invitations any earlier than this. If invitations arrive months before the wedding, your guests will place it in their “I’ll get to that later” pile, and you’ll end up calling quite a few guests who didn’t mail back an RSVP.
Before we dive into examples of ways to address envelopes, I want to state that adding Mr., Mrs. and Ms. significantly increases the level of formalness. If you feel more comfortable dropping titles and sticking with the couple’s first and last names, then do it! I see this more often than not in the Crested Butte area. Many couples that I work with also choose to just go with an outside envelope. An inside envelope allows you to confirm who is invited, especially if guests have children. But again, it brings you to the question, how formal is the event?

Now for examples

Married Couple
Outside Envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. Eric Freson

Inside Envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. Freson

Married Couple with different last names
Outside:
Ms. Ciera Glenn
Mr. Eric Freson

Inside:
Ms. Glenn and Mr. Freson

Same-Sex Married Couple with same last name
Side note: Address invitations to same-sex couples, married or unmarried, the same way you would heterosexual couples

Outside:
Mrs. and Mrs. Erica and Ciera Freson-Glenn

Inside:
Mrs. and Mrs. Freson-Glenn

Same-Sex Married Couple with different last names
Outside Envelope:
Ms. Erica Freson and Ms. Ciera Glenn

Inside:
Ms. Freson and Ms. Glenn

Married Couple with invited children
Side note: If you choose not to have both inside and outside envelopes, refer to the inside envelope as how to address the one and only envelope.

 Outside Envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. Eric Freson

 Inside:
Mr. and Mrs. Freson
Sydney and Dakota

Married couple, woman is a doctor
Side note: proper etiquette dictates that the spouse that hold the professional title is listed first

Outside Envelope:
Dr. Ciera Freson
and Mr. Eric Freson

Inside:
Dr. Freson and Mr. Freson

Married couple, both doctors with same last name
Outside Envelope:
Drs. Eric and Ciera Freson

Inside:
Drs. Freson

Married couple, both doctors with different last names
Outside Envelope:
Dr. Ciera Glenn
and Dr. Eric Freson

Inside:
Dr. Glenn and Dr. Freson

Single Woman
Side note: choose either Miss or Ms.

Outside Envelope:
Miss/Ms. Ciera Glenn

Inside:
Miss/Ms. Glenn

Single Woman with guest
Side note: If you choose not to have both inside and outside envelopes, refer to the inside envelope as for how to address the one and only envelope.
Another side note: choose either Miss or Ms.

Outside Envelope:
Miss/Ms. Ciera Glenn

Inside:
Side note: choose either Escort or Guest
Miss/Ms. Glenn and Escort/Guest

Single Man
Outside Envelope:
Mr. Eric Freson

Inside:
Mr. Freson

Single Man with guest
Side note: If you choose not to have both inside and outside envelopes, refer to the inside envelope as how to address the one and only envelope.

Outside Envelope:
Mr. Eric Freson

Inside:
Mr. Freson and Guest

Divorced Woman
Outside Envelope:
Side note: (choose either Mrs. or Ms.)
Mrs./Ms. Ciera Freson

Inside:
Mrs./Ms. Freson

Widow
Outside Envelope:
Mrs. Freson

Inside:
Mrs. Freson

Unmarried couple living together
Outside Envelope:
Ms. Ciera Glenn
Mr. Eric Freson

Inside:
Ms. Glenn
Mr. Freson

A few additional etiquette tips:

• Black ink is the most traditional and formal manner to address invitations. But bring on the colored ink if you wish!
• Keep in mind the “host” is extending the invitation. The host is the person who is paying for most of the wedding. The invitation envelope should be addressed according to the relationship to the host. For example: “Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle and Aunt, etc.”
• Using the word “and” between two adults on an outer envelope implies they are married. If a couple is unmarried list them on two separate lines.
• A married and widowed woman only uses “Mrs.” with her husband’s last name. Using “Mrs.” with her first name implies she is divorced.
• Grammatically speaking, “Guest” or “Escort” should not be capitalized. But more common than not, couples choose to capitalize these words as it looks more pleasing.